Rob: Oi! Baertender! Bring me another lager!
Bartender: Here you go sir.
Danny: I'm fucking exstatic mate, tomorrow we're gonna show them who rule this city.
Rob: Yeah mate, I'm so pumped I haven't fucking slept for a week.
Danny: That's not because your pumped mate, thats beacuse of all the "Charlie" you've
been sniffing..hehe.
Rob: Hehe..Yeah maybe so, you want a fix?
Danny: Sure mate.
Rob: (Prepping a line of cocaine on the bardesk)
Bartender: Excuse me sir! What are you doing? You can't do that in here!
Rob: Shut up you cunt, are you West Ham?
Bartender: Ehhrm no...I'm a bartender.
Danny: Is that supposed to be funny or something!?
Rob: (sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffffffff)
Bartender: I want you out of here right now, or I'll call the police!
Rob: You're gonna call the Old Bill on us? You wanker, I'll fucking slit your throught you fucking Chelsea cunt!
Danny: (Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffffff)
Bartender: Please just leave..
Danny: (Smashing a beer bottle in the bartenders head)
Danny and Rob: (shouting) WEST HAM! WEST HAM! WEST HAM!
tisdag 19 juli 2011
E - assignment 2.2
And old lady named Margareth walks in a fancy jewelry store to buy a new necklace. She wares old ragged clothes and her personal hygien is questionable. In the store Margareth gets in a discussion with the clerk, Sarah.
Margareth: Excuse me miss, may I get some help please.
Sarah: Ehh, sure.
Margaretth: I'm looking for a new necklace to ware at a dinner tonight. I love diamonds!
Sarah: Are you really sure you have come to the right place?
Margareth: Yes, I am certain. This is "M's Jewelry", right?
Sarah: Yes, but you know, we are very expensive, but if you walk a few blocks from here they have a low price mall where I'm sure you will find what you are looking for.
Margareth: But..
Sarah: No buts.. Thats all I can help you with, now bye bye..
Margareth: I don't really care for your attitude young lady, can you please show me your diamond necklaces?
Sarah: For the last time lady, you have gone to the WRONG place, now leave!
Margareth: This is an outrage, I would like to speak to the store manager please.
Sarah: He is busy right now, but I am one hundred percent sure he will tell you the same thing I've just told you..to get the hell out of this store!
Margareth: I'm not leaving untill I get to speak to the store manager!
Sarah: (Sigh) Ok, I'll call for him.
(Store manager walking in)
Store manager: (In a high pitch voice) Oh hello Margareth! What a pleasent surprise, how are you dear! You look great! Is there something I can do for you?
Sarah: Oh shit..
Margareth: Yes indeed there is something you can do for me. This young lady wont let me see the diamond necklaces, she tries to convince me to go to some low price mall nearby.
Store manager: (whispers aggressively) Sarah, you stupid cow! Margareth is the owner of the company!
Sarah: ......
Store Manager: You are fired! Maybe now you know what "M" in "M's Jewelry" stands for!
Margareth: Now, can we finally look at some diamonds!?
Margareth: Excuse me miss, may I get some help please.
Sarah: Ehh, sure.
Margaretth: I'm looking for a new necklace to ware at a dinner tonight. I love diamonds!
Sarah: Are you really sure you have come to the right place?
Margareth: Yes, I am certain. This is "M's Jewelry", right?
Sarah: Yes, but you know, we are very expensive, but if you walk a few blocks from here they have a low price mall where I'm sure you will find what you are looking for.
Margareth: But..
Sarah: No buts.. Thats all I can help you with, now bye bye..
Margareth: I don't really care for your attitude young lady, can you please show me your diamond necklaces?
Sarah: For the last time lady, you have gone to the WRONG place, now leave!
Margareth: This is an outrage, I would like to speak to the store manager please.
Sarah: He is busy right now, but I am one hundred percent sure he will tell you the same thing I've just told you..to get the hell out of this store!
Margareth: I'm not leaving untill I get to speak to the store manager!
Sarah: (Sigh) Ok, I'll call for him.
(Store manager walking in)
Store manager: (In a high pitch voice) Oh hello Margareth! What a pleasent surprise, how are you dear! You look great! Is there something I can do for you?
Sarah: Oh shit..
Margareth: Yes indeed there is something you can do for me. This young lady wont let me see the diamond necklaces, she tries to convince me to go to some low price mall nearby.
Store manager: (whispers aggressively) Sarah, you stupid cow! Margareth is the owner of the company!
Sarah: ......
Store Manager: You are fired! Maybe now you know what "M" in "M's Jewelry" stands for!
Margareth: Now, can we finally look at some diamonds!?
måndag 18 juli 2011
E - assignment 2
1d) d) You're waiting at a bus stop in your home town. A well-mannered and well-spoken male tourist stops by and asks you for directions to places he says he's been told to visit during his stay. You offer to help him, but as the conversation continues you find yourself overwhelmed by a growing sense of unease...
Tourist: Excuse me sir! May I please ask you for some directions?
Me: Yeah, of course.
Tourist: I am not from this town, but I have heard of a very famous iron store that is supposed to be located nearby. From what I have heard this iron store got some high class shuffles.
Me: Ehrrm...Did you say iron store? I have never heard of a famous iron store before.. but there is one just two blocks from here.
Tourist: Well thank you sir. I have also heard that this town has a great tool store. It's supposed to have very fine chain saws..
Me: I don't know if it is famous, but there is a tool store just a few minutes walk away. I don't think it is anything special about it though..
Tourist: Perfect! Finally I would like to know the directions to the graveyard. I have heard that it is very beautiful!
Me: That old dump? I promise you, there is nothing to see.
Tourist: (Impatiently) But do you know the directions?
Me: Ehh, yes. but may I ask you a question?
Tourist: Sure
Me: How come you want to see these strange places? An iron store, a tool shop and a graveyard? Don't you want to see our famous tower or the old bridge instead?
Tourist: (Irritated) No
Me: But why not?
Tourist: (Over articulate) Let's just say I've got some business to take care of..do you have a problem with that?
Me: Ehh..no no..just take left, walk a few minutes and you'll find it!
Tourist: Excuse me sir! May I please ask you for some directions?
Me: Yeah, of course.
Tourist: I am not from this town, but I have heard of a very famous iron store that is supposed to be located nearby. From what I have heard this iron store got some high class shuffles.
Me: Ehrrm...Did you say iron store? I have never heard of a famous iron store before.. but there is one just two blocks from here.
Tourist: Well thank you sir. I have also heard that this town has a great tool store. It's supposed to have very fine chain saws..
Me: I don't know if it is famous, but there is a tool store just a few minutes walk away. I don't think it is anything special about it though..
Tourist: Perfect! Finally I would like to know the directions to the graveyard. I have heard that it is very beautiful!
Me: That old dump? I promise you, there is nothing to see.
Tourist: (Impatiently) But do you know the directions?
Me: Ehh, yes. but may I ask you a question?
Tourist: Sure
Me: How come you want to see these strange places? An iron store, a tool shop and a graveyard? Don't you want to see our famous tower or the old bridge instead?
Tourist: (Irritated) No
Me: But why not?
Tourist: (Over articulate) Let's just say I've got some business to take care of..do you have a problem with that?
Me: Ehh..no no..just take left, walk a few minutes and you'll find it!
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